Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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