my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
