I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
