playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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