I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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