you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
