Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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