What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
