Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
