I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
