Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
