Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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