i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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