No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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