I'm lost and stupid without you.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
