I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
