Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
