there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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