your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
