I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
