and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
