help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
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He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
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She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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