i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
