Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
