i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
