She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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