his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
