I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
