she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
