Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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