alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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