no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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