I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
