She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
