Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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