Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
