Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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