Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
