so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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