I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
