Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize