I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Green mimosas i think yes
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
