Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
