If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
