Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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