yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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