Don't make out with my wife yet
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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