3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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