He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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