i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize