I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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