yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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