Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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