We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
