WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
