can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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