she woke up with a sticky ear
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
did you just send me my own nude
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
