I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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