Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
