I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
