i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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