omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
and i looked up. we had an audience...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just had sex on a roof
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
